Building a healthy, lasting relationship is no small feat, especially in a world that’s constantly shifting. Relationships require nurturing, patience and a genuine commitment to growth, both as individuals and as a couple. We often turn to experts for insights, learning from their years of experience helping people navigate the complexities of love, communication and trust.
Here are some essential expert advices to help nurture a love that stands the test of time.
Prioritize Emotional Safety
Dr. Sue Johnson, a pioneering psychologist and creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), emphasizes the importance of emotional safety in relationships. Her research, presented in her books like “Hold Me Tight” (2008) and in various clinical workshops worldwide, shows that emotional security forms the foundation of a resilient relationship.
Dr Johnson’s studies reveal that when partners feel seen, valued and supported, they are more capable of managing conflicts constructively.
Communicate Transparently
Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist and researcher, has conducted extensive studies on relationship dynamics at his “Love Lab” at the University of Washington. In his groundbreaking book “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” (1999), he introduced “The Four Horsemen” of relationship breakdown—criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. Gottman’s findings show that couples who communicate openly and avoid these behaviors build a strong foundation of trust and understanding.
Embrace Growth and Change
Esther Perel, a Belgian psychotherapist known for her TED Talks and best selling book “Mating in Captivity” (2006), has brought fresh perspectives on relationships and intimacy to the global stage. Perel argues that thriving relationships are ones that embrace change. She shares her insights on her podcast “Where Should We Begin?” and in public talks, emphasizing that supporting each partner’s personal growth is essential to a lasting bond.
Regularly discuss your goals and aspirations with your partner and find ways to support each other’s evolution. Embracing change allows each partner to grow, strengthening the relationship through each new phase.
Resolve Conflicts Constructively
Known as “The Love Doctor,” Dr. Terri Orbuch is a psychologist and relationship expert who has studied couples for over 30 years in the ongoing Early Years of Marriage Project, funded by the National Institutes of Health. In her book “5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great” (2009), Dr. Orbuch advises that conflict can bring couples closer when approached with a problem solving mindset. She teaches that focusing on solutions, rather than blame, leads to healthier relationships.
During disagreements, focus on the “we” instead of “me.” Approach conflicts as shared challenges, practicing calm and honest communication. This mindset can turn tension into opportunities for connection.
Maintain Individuality
Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a licensed clinical psychologist and author of “Loving Bravely” (2017), highlights the importance of individuality in her teachings at Northwestern University and through her online courses. Solomon emphasizes that while togetherness is essential, maintaining individuality keeps the relationship balanced and fulfilling. Her approach is based on her years of clinical experience and her work with couples, where she has seen the importance of each partner having a sense of personal identity.
Partners should encourage each other to pursue hobbies and friendships outside the relationship. This balance between individuality and togetherness makes shared moments even more meaningful.
Nurture Intimacy and Playfulness
Dr. Laura Berman, a sex and relationship therapist, emphasizes the role of intimacy and playfulness in sustaining love. In her book “Quantum Love” (2016) and as host of “The Dr. Laura Berman Show,” she discusses the importance of keeping fun and spontaneity alive. According to Dr. Berman, couples who make time for fun and shared joy maintain a stronger bond and often communicate more openly.
Final Thoughts
Each expert’s advice provides a key piece of the puzzle to building a lasting relationship. Every relationship faces challenges but by embracing expert advice and implementing these practices, you’re investing in a foundation that can withstand life’s ups and downs. Each of these principles, adds its own layer of resilience to a relationship.
Love is a journey and it’s through daily commitments that a relationship can truly thrive.
