Money is one of the most loaded topics we face. It touches every aspect of our lives, yet it’s often avoided in conversation or laced with anxiety. Deep down, most of us carry certain fears about money; whether it’s the fear of not having enough, fear of having too much, fear of losing what we have, or even the fear of judgment from others based on our financial status. But the truth is, uncovering these fears is the first step to transforming your financial future by enabling you to build a healthier relationship with money.
Identifying Your Money Fears
Money fears can stem from a variety of sources, such as personal experiences, societal expectations, or deeply ingrained beliefs often given to us by others. The best way to start to uncover your money fears is by asking yourself what are your biggest concerns around money?
Below are some questions that you can use, to start delving into the varied emotions that you have surrounding your beliefs about money.
- What does financial “security” mean to me?
- Am I worried about losing control over my spending?
- How would I feel if I spent money on something that isn’t strictly necessary?
- Do I think money is evil?
- Do I think money corrupts?
- Do I often compare myself financially to others?
- How comfortable am I with being open about my finances?
- How do I feel when others talk about money, wealth, or success?
- What’s my worst fear when it comes to making financial choices?
- Am I afraid of what I don’t know about finances, or of not being able to recover from a mistake?
- Do you think there is enough money in the world for everyone?
- Do I believe money can make me happy?
- Would I do anything for money?
- Can I have too much money?
- What does self-sufficiency mean to me, and why is it important?
- Are there any past experiences that made me feel uncomfortable about financial dependency?
- How do I feel about asking for financial help if I ever needed it?
- What specific future events or expenses worry me the most?
- Do I feel like I’m constantly saving for the future rather than living in the present?
- How can I create a balance between saving for the future and enjoying the present?
- What would it mean to me if I lost my wealth or assets?
- Have I experienced financial losses before? How did they affect me?
Taking some time to think through and write down your answers to any of the above questions which are relevant to you or any other money belief questions that you may have, can help make your beliefs and fears more tangible and therefore easier to address.
As you write down your answers to the questions suggested and any others that you may have, start to pay close attention and become aware of the feelings that come up for you as you explore your current money beliefs in more detail.
When exploring these questions if you get an uncomfortable feeling in your solar plexus this is fear! Don’t be afraid to sit with it and explore it for a while, by which I mean ask yourself questions.
- Why do I feel this sensation when I think these thoughts?
- Where does this feeling come from? Does it make sense to feel this way about the question I am thinking about?
- Are the thoughts that make me feel this way, based on common sense?
Recognizing Where These Fears Come From
Money fears often stem from a complex mix of our personal experiences, beliefs given to us by family and friends, social influences, and cultural attitudes toward wealth and security. Here are some common sources:
Family Influence and Early Experiences
- Childhood Observations: If someone grew up watching their parents stress over bills or debts, they might internalize the fear of financial instability. Parents who frequently express worry about money can unintentionally pass down this anxiety.
- Financial Trauma: A specific event like losing a home, a job, or experiencing poverty can leave lasting impacts, creating a fear of being unable to recover if financial troubles arise again.
Cultural Beliefs and Societal Pressure
- Cultural Attitudes: Societies often place high value on financial success, equating it with self-worth. This can lead to fear of judgment or shame over not meeting perceived financial standards.
- Social Comparisons: Media, advertising, and social platforms reinforce a “keeping up with the Joneses” mindset, causing people to fear that they aren’t doing enough financially, which can fuel anxiety.
Personal Identity and Self-Worth
- Self-Esteem Tied to Wealth: Many people equate their value with their financial status, which can lead to intense fear of failure or inadequacy. When personal worth feels tied to financial success, any setback can feel personally devastating.
- Scarcity Mindset: Some people develop a deep-seated belief that there’s never enough money or that financial security is only temporary. This mindset can lead to chronic fear of loss, even if they’re financially stable.
Lack of Financial Literacy
- Fear of the Unknown: Without knowledge of personal finance basics, managing money can feel overwhelming, leading to a fear of making mistakes or feeling out of control.
- Avoidance Due to Anxiety: People who lack financial knowledge may avoid managing their finances, which can worsen the fear over time. The unknown can create an ongoing sense of financial instability.
Psychological Factors
- Anxiety Disorders: Some people experience anxiety as a general condition, and money often becomes a focal point for that worry.
- Fear of Success or Responsibility: For some, the potential responsibility of wealth can feel intimidating. They may fear that wealth will make them a target for judgment or increase pressure to make wise financial decisions.
Understanding where your money fears originate is a helpful first step in addressing them. Through financial education, self-reflection, or even therapy, you can often learn to manage or lessen these fears, developing a healthier relationship with your money.
Examining How Your Money Fears Impact Your Life
Money fears can have a profound impact on various aspects of life, from relationships and mental health to career choices and overall quality of life. Here’s how these fears can manifest:
Mental Health and Emotional Well-being
- Anxiety and Depression: Constant worry about finances can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and even depression. People with money fears might lose sleep, feel anxious about the future, or find themselves in a near-constant state of worry.
- Emotional Roller Coaster: Financial fears can lead to mood swings and emotional highs and lows, especially if people are constantly checking accounts or making financial decisions based on immediate emotions.
Relationships and Social Life
- Relationship Strain: Money is a common source of tension in relationships. Fear of spending, arguments about finances, or differing financial priorities can lead to conflict or even contribute to breakups and divorces.
- Isolation and Shame: People who feel ashamed of their financial situation may avoid social situations that require spending money or discussing their financial status. This can lead to social isolation and a loss of connection with friends or family.
Career Choices and Job Satisfaction
- Staying in Unfulfilling Jobs: People with money fears may stay in a job they dislike simply because it feels financially safe, even if it means sacrificing personal growth or happiness.
- Avoiding Risky but Rewarding Opportunities: Fear of financial instability can lead to a conservative approach to career moves. People might pass up entrepreneurial ventures, promotions, or new roles due to fear of income loss or potential failure.
Spending and Saving Habits
- Oversaving or Hoarding Money: Some people, due to deep financial fears, may have a habit of excessive saving, avoiding spending even on necessary things or experiences that could enhance their lives.
- Impulse Spending as a Coping Mechanism: Others may use spending as a way to temporarily relieve stress or boost mood, leading to a cycle of regret and guilt. This can worsen financial stress and increase fear over time.
Quality of Life and Personal Growth
- Limited Experiences and Enjoyment: Fear of spending money can make it difficult to enjoy life, take vacations, try new hobbies, or pursue personal interests.
- Stifling Personal Development: People with money fears might hesitate to invest in personal development, like taking classes, attending workshops, or engaging in hobbies that could enhance their well-being.
Physical Health
- Health Neglect: When people fear spending money, they may avoid medical treatments, check-ups, or therapy, impacting their physical health in the long run.
- Stress-Related Health Issues: Financial stress can contribute to various health issues, including high blood pressure, headaches, heart issues, and other stress-related conditions.
Your money fears are often rooted in both psychological and practical concerns, but they can often be addressed. Working on financial literacy, seeking therapy, or using budgeting tools to create a sense of control can all be helpful steps, also look out for the second part of this blog for more information on removing your money fears.
For now take some time to reflect on how your money fears may influence your day-to-day choices. Are they holding you back from enjoying your life, from being yourself, from asking for a raise?, or even starting a business? For example,
The more clearly you see the impact of money on your decisions, the easier it becomes to challenge those fears.
Be Your Own Inspiration
